The Scroll I received
Above was what I received that day. If you look closely enough, you will see the rank 2LT (2nd Lieutenant) printed instead of the usual OCT (Officer Cadet). Strangely, I wasn't as estatic as I should be, but I was relieved that I made it through this arduous course.
Not to put the other formations down, but I felt that to pass out from the AOCC as a 2LT was tougher than to do it in any other formations. Sleep was practically non-existant whether in-camp or outfield. Both our mental and physical faculties were pushed to the limits whenever we return from a day's exercise to be greeted with servicing and maintenance of our vehicles. Furthermore, for me undergoing the Tank Officer Cadet Course (TOCC), multi-tasking on the tank was of top priority. You will have to juggle with 4-5 things at any one time. It was very challenging and the action was high-tempo to the max! Therefore for me, to pass the course was an achievement, to don the black beret brings me great pride.
This course has taught me many things about myself and about people. I learnt a great deal about myself under different situations that I was put through. How I reacted to immense stress and pressure to perform, how I treated my fellow course-mates, and the different methods I used to complete a task given to me. These traits I discovered about myself were at times shocking, and at times insightful. This course has made me realise that there was still a long long way to go on the road of life, and I still had loads to learn from. There were definitely things I wish to change, and things I wish to reinforce to make better. I am still a novice in the area of living the life I am supposed to live.
Secondly, something that really affected me was that my fellow course-mate went Out of Course (OOC) a day before the certificate presentation due to poor performance in TOCC. He was a person who gives his best in every training session, lectures and tests. However, it was his lack of confidence and poor grasp of the basics that resulted in his failure. I felt very sad that day that he wasn't with us receiving the certificate. I thought to myself that I was not going to let anything like this happen in the next course. This notion is going to be the sole motivation for me to push myself in training the next batch of cadets, as most probably I will be posted as an instructor.
Lastly, I was really glad that the course has ended because I felt that my Tankee course is seriously pretty screwed up. Relationship problems between us trainees were bad, and there was no unity at all. It felt so different from my BMT and Service Term experience. I guess Tankees are just wired that way, we are individualistic and plain selfish, caring for only ourselves. Comparing ourselves to our Armoured Infantry fellow cadets in the Armoured Infantry Officer Cadet Course (AIOCC), things are very much different. They are really united as one. To pass out as a Tank officer is of more pride as compared to an Armoured Infantry officer in my opinion, but the bonds you forge are definitely much weaker. I would gladly trade such pride for better bonds within the course any time.
Well, everything's been said and done, and all that is left is just the commissioning parade. I guess I would just concentrate on how to make things better for the next batch, and look forward to a new chapter in my NS life..
