You reap what you sow..

I did the toughest race of my life today..It was humbling and at the same time enlightening. Being in the youngest age-group in this event means that we are in the last wave. This also means that we have the most disadvantageous cut-off timing: 1hr for the swim and 3hrs for the bike.

In the build up to the World Championships, I hardly spent any time in the pool. Bike and run trainings were also minimal. I went into the competition with the mentality of just completing it. However, I did set myself 5hr 45mins to complete it. This was the timing of my first ever 70.3 Half-Ironman in Singapore last year.

Having not done much swim training and this being a wetsuit swim in cold waters, I was quite worried about the swim leg. I made it a point to warm up in the cold waters before the wave start and my body slowly aclimatized. The gun went off and everyone made a dash for the waters. I stayed behind, knowing my limits. It was a very choppy swim and I struggled a lot. I am thankful for the canoeist who stayed by my side throughout almost half of the swim. The thought of taking more than 1hr in the swim caused me to push myself harder. I did not want my day to end before it had even started. I did not come all the way here to swim! I was last out of the waters in my group and managed 46mins for the swim leg.

The swim took a lot of out me and I struggled on the bike in the first few miles. I was alone and the headwind was insane. I had 3hrs 10mins to make it back before being disqualified. It was the most pressurizing bike ride I have ever done. I was averaging 28km/h in the first few miles and this was not good. I was not going to make the cut-off time for the bike at this rate. I grinded hard to put one leg ahead of another, churning the gears as my legs burned from the swim. After 20km into the bike leg, I managed to find my legs and I was averaging around 33-34km/h. I then bummed into Jocelyn 10km from the finish and we completed the bike leg together. I completed the bike leg in 2hrs 53mins.

Knowing that the cut-off time for the run is 3hrs, I knew that there was nothing between me and the finishing line. Jocelyn and I decided to run together. However, we lost each other in transition and I ended up waiting almost 15mins for her as I see Jon Ma charging down for his 2nd and final lap of the run. The temptation to go ahead alone and make my target time was great, but in the end I chose to wait. Seeing no sign of Jocelyn after all this time, I went ahead realising that there was no way I can complete the race in my target time of 5hr 45mins.

Throughout the run, I kept my eyes peeled for Jocelyn, hoping that she is already on the course running. I finally spotted her 8km to the end. By then, she was already 3km from the finish. I was finally relieved. I increased my pace and completed the run in 2hr 14mins (including the waiting time).

I do not regret the time wasted waiting for Jocelyn as I learnt that triathlon is more than just an individual sport. This was something that I was reminded again in this trip. Professionals like Julie Dibens and Michael Raelert chatted to us without airs. Everybody treated everybody like family. I did not want to sacrifice that for personal gain.

I do not deny that I am very disappointed with my showing at the World Championships, but I believe that the lessons learnt here will serve me well in the future races. You reap what you sow, and I have no excuses for that. This is the toughest race I have ever done and I hope never to feel like that again.

I am very thankful to everyone who has encouraged me and who have believed in me. Thank you so much for your love, care and concern. I will come back stronger. Promise.

Getting it off my chest

Clearwater, Florida. Ironman 70.3 World Championship. I never for once took this opportunity to participate in the above-mentioned race for granted. I never believed in going there just to complete the race. I even set targets for myself to smash at the event. It was to be a personal best, all out, flat out race for me...

However, things never turn out the way you want them to. 2 back-to-back bike incidents put me off running for 2 months. On top of that, ever since Ironman Switzerland, I have never really gotten back the feeling of what it means to swim, cycle and run. I could not find the reason to continue doing what I used to love most. There are times however that I battle this mindset and take myself out in the course of training. I was fighting both the body and the mind. It was tiring. There are occasions when I get a glimpse of what training is supposed to be like, but those days are few and far between.

Words cannot describe the disappointment I feel when I go out for an intended 90km bike ride and stop short at 30km because I just simply cannot will myself to carry on. It is not out of physical exhaustion, but I was mentally dead. Each day that passes draws me nearer to the race; each day passes with me losing the meaning of this sport.

I cannot understand how people like Joshua Li or Jonathan Ma sustain that fire within to keep pressing forward to greater heights. What drives them? People like Ling Er who came back from a broken femur to win Ironman 70.3 Philippines and subsequently qualify for the Ironman 70.3 World Championship. What drove her?

Perhaps the only reason why I am still trying so hard to train and race amidst all this shit going through my mind is this: ego. Ego can sustain your drive for a while, but in the long run you lose yourself and become someone you yourself cannot recognize.

I started to reflect on this recently and posed myself some hard questions. If I stop doing triathlons or stop training, will I still be me; will I still be Norman? Will my friends view me differently? Who am I, actually?

To be very honest, I have no answers to the questions myself. All I can do is to keep asking more questions and let time reveal the answers to me. I have no idea how I will perform at the race next Saturday. I have no idea how I want to race. I do not know what I will learn from this experience or how it will shape the way I decide about things in the future, but I guess for now I have to put my ego down and wake up to the fact that probably the best I can do there is to complete the race.

I am sorry to all who has put your faith in me.

Basic sciences for today!

Here are more from Fake Science. Enjoy!

How the dinosaurs died

Inside your 100plus!

Demystifying solar power

The process of oil mining

Composition of the sun

Medical facts...or not!

This are some interesting stuff I got from Fake Science. Enjoy! =]

The 'real' food pyramid

'Truth' about earwax

Brain freeze 'facts'

Understanding artherosclerosis

Closer to the edge

Pain is pleasure; I discovered that today. Many times we fear the unknown, fear what is beyond that burning sensation in our thighs or calves when we cycle or run. I was always one who never really ventured beyond that barrier. I was cautious.

However, there are times when we throw caution to the wind and embrace the pain like it is a form of suicide. Escapism. Like what Lance Armstrong said: "All endurance athletes are running away from something". When we undertake such an act, sometimes we might even surprise ourselves.

1. You discover that after crossing over the pain barrier, there is no more pain. As the saying goes: "Numbness is Ironman foreplay".
2. You discover your true limit. You are pushed to the edge by yourself (if you have the guts to reach that stage).
3. You come out a happier person. Endorphins?
4. Add on new things as you experience them =]

So go ahead, push yourself to the edge, test how brave you are.

Belief.

Belief is a dangerous thing.

It has the potential to falsify everything the world once hold to be true. However, not many stand by their beliefs; they let the world dictate it for them. Those who stand by theirs are seen as radicals, whom few can relate to or understand.

Do you have to balls to stand by your belief no matter what?

Simple joys in life

He chased the darkness down until the goblet of fire rose from within the abyss to bleach the navy blue canvas cerulean.

K.O.M. Ipoh 2010

I completed what I set out to do. I conquered Cameron Highlands!

My plan was simple, to ride up the entire way without dismounting =] I saw this race as more of a gauge of my cycling and as a really good form of training. It was an insane experience, I have never been so familiar with the lowest 3 gears of my bike until the race! However, if this race is still on next year, I will definitely be back there again.

I have learnt quite abit about myself while slogging my way up; there is still much more work to be done for my cycling. However, the greatest take-away I had was in fact something I knew all along:

If you’re going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

Tough times do not last, tough people do. No matter how hard the journey is, as long as you strive on, you keep moving ahead no matter how slow, you will get there. You will get to your destination.

Dream. Believe. Do.

Bikes behind where I was sitting =]

I hope I survive this...

Sweet dreams are made of these

The choice is yours...

Every morning you have two choices: continue your sleep with dreaming, or wake up and chase your dreams.

Today, I did the chasing, and boy did it feel good.

Words of wisdom

"Seize this chance, rejoice in it and let no power or persuasion deter you in your task." – Chariots of Fire

What you can do, or think you do, begin it. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

How true.

From now till then...

...good-bye this space.

All of me

This was the tune that kept playing over and over in my mind today while conquering hills after hills...

The uphill crazy course of NUS biathlon this year really gave me the opportunity to test my courage. Was I brave enough to conquer the hills or let them overcome me instead? As I ran up with burning legs and laboured breathing, each breath trying to take in more oxygen than my lungs permitted, I found my answer...

I felt really renewed after running through this tough course, and it really took all of me =]

These guys are soooo creative!

'Lady Gaga' feat. 'Beyonce' - Telephone parody



'Ke$ha' - Tik Tok parody



'Adam Lambert' - What Do You Want From Me parody

A blessing...

My main race in a series of 5 races in 5 weeks was finally here.. I could still remember my Aviva 70.3 2009 experience vividly; it was the most memorable race of my life. It will be the benchmark of all my races that are to come...

I always believe that a good race experience is more than just the results; it should entail the process of training for the race, the enjoyment of the race, the supporters and the entire race atmosphere. Results are just a bonus.

I planned as I did last year on my goal for this race - 5hrs 15mins was the time to hit. The splits are as follows: 40mins for the 1.9km swim, 2hrs 40mins for the 90km bike, 1hr 50mins for the 21km run and 5mins for transition and 'chill-laxing' time.

In the transition area before the race

As the gun went off, I mentally prepared myself for a long race ahead. I entered the water and started to find my stroke for the swim. The waters were relatively calm and the swim was comfortable. Upon exiting the waters from my 1st loop, I glanced at my watch and the split was within reach =] I did a mental calculation in the water on my 2nd loop and decided to up the tempo abit; I came out of the swim within my targeted time!

I mounted the bike and started to churn away. I was going faster than my targeted speed as I felt really good and comfortable. This was probably where my race went wrong...

I remembered 3 weeks ago during the 90km time-trial that Jon Ma, Amos and I did that I started conservatively but ended strong. Today, that was not the case. I could not replicate the form I showed that day. My first 2 laps were within my targeted splits, but the 3rd loop took me 58mins. That was where the additional 5mins came from. The timing was not my major concern, what worried me was the run that is to come. A glorious 21km more to go...

As I ran into transition, I overshot my transition area and had to back up, loosing some time in the process...I have to work out a system of identifying my area as it was David who helped me point out my bike after the swim (yes, I was pretty lost in T1 as well).

I felt weak on the 1st km on the run as my leg muscles spasmed away and threatened to cramp up on me. This was the portion of the race that I learned from the most.

One thing that came to my mind while running was that what I am doing now is a priviledge; It is not an entitlement. This thought really got me going as I remembered my 2 month plus hiatus from exercising late last year. I thank God for keeping me healthy to be able to enjoy this sport.

I also remembered what Coach David told me a few days before regarding relaxing your muscles in order for them to perform and I put it into practice. It was not easy to hold yourself back knowing that you can go faster, but I did and it paid off.

My muscles felt so much better after the 2km mark and I continued to slowly increase my pace but maintaining the rhythm and the 'lightness'. I only had one thought on my mind:

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee" - Muhammad Ali

I kept repeating it in my head and pushed forward on the run. It was really a battle of the mind under the crazy Singapore sun beating down mercilessly. All I wanted to do was to finish the run quickly and 'pang kang' (Hokkien for stop work), but I held back the temptation to go faster for I knew if I did, I would have crashed out with major cramps.

The support from friends and relatives made the run so much more enjoyable - it was the ONLY thing that motivated me to reach the 7km U-turn point after every lap. I dare say that the support from close ones were equal, if not more compared to the electrolytes and water at the aid stations.

Thank you everyone who took time out to support us today! =] Without you there, it would have been so much more painful and it will not have made this race so memorable.

With 2km to go, I increased my pace and surged for a strong finish. It was finally over. As I crossed the line after 1hr 56mins on the run, I felt really good. It was merely 4mins faster than my run last year in the same event, but I died real badly for the 2hrs last year. I felt strong today and that is a good sign =]

After the race, we hung around the buffet area and I caught up with Renny whom I met during my Ironman in Switzerland. He was here promoting the new Taiwan 70.3 race. It was nice seeing him again =]

As Jon Ma had a high chance of getting a Clearwater 70.3 World Championships slot via roll down, we decided to wait and see if he gets it. The thought of being able get a roll down slot myself did cross my mind but I got over it quickly when I saw my name on the no. 9 spot. There were 8 people before me and there are 2 slots, what are the odds? I thought it to be very very low.

It was only after the automatic qualifiers slot allocation was announced that I saw a glimmer of hope. The top 2 in my age-group did not claim their slots which means that Jon Ma will definitely be going to the World Championships and I might have a small chance of going too!

It seriously DID NOT cross my mind that I could get a slot, so when it finally came and was finalised, I was really elated and thankful to God for this unexpected blessing. It seemed so surreal! =]

Jon and I settling the paper work

This is a new experience and something to look forward to, but first, let's get down to training =]

What it means to attack...

Alberto Contador attacks with 2km left in Stage 4 of Paris-Nice 2010. His assault on the climb got no response from the field...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_CB7LgCoEo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3lcCb9yPP0

Enjoy.

The hibernation is over.

The thought of deleting this space has occured to me many times.. I find it really dumb (pardon the use of this word, I cannot find a more apt alternative) to blog about the things I do, my opinions on matters and talk about my private life on this cold space called the Internet.

However, one thing that prevented me from going ahead with my action plan was a simple word - inspire.

I do not claim to have inspired people to do things beyond what their minds can conceive nor think of myself as an inspirational figure. I do, however, believe that a blog can serve its function to perhaps stir up that thought inside you that laid dormant for so long.

Reading Ashley's account on his Ironman in Langkawi a few weeks ago really inspired me to be disciplined in the things I do. So many times, and especially during races, we often comment about how fast this guy was or how strong that guy is, and fail to see what happens behind all the glory the guy is seemingly basking in. He worked his ass off to get to where he is currently; that is discipline wherein lies the glory.

Glory is not merely about the results; it is what you did to get to where you are.

I guess that was the lesson I was supposed to learn from my Ironman experience in Zurich, Switzerland in July 2009. I truly enjoyed the process of preparing for the Ironman. Countless crazy sessions on the swim, bike, run with Nicolas can never replace the Ironman finishers' medal. The process is my own unique experience and nobody can take it away from me =]

It is the same for my family in NUS - Aquathlon. I never fail to get goosebumps whenever we race as a team and do well. The process, all the times we died together during the swim sets and the crazy hill intervals, was truly memorable and bonded us as a team; the results was just the icing on the cake =]

NUS biathlon and the end of the biathlon season is 2 weeks away. I look forward to see stars rise among our ranks.

In conclusion, I will come out of hibernation and hope that my future posts will touch you in any way that leads you to live life to the fullest!

The true meaning of cycling...

It feels good to be back..

Cold water shot through my system like electricity; I struggled to breathe. My arms felt like lead, disobeying my command to move. Invisible creatures welcomed me with sharp stinging pains; the sodium felt nice in my mouth. I was at peace in the water...

It felt really good to be back training with the team after being out for so long. I knew this week was going to be tough, but I paced myself and tried to ease back into training slowly.

Something I never shared regarding my Ironman experience was the emotion I had when I crossed the finish line in July 2009. I had no emotion. I had visualised that moment prior to the race so many times in my mind; Would I cry? Would I be too overwhelmed for words? There was nothing of that sort that day. Blank.

Until now, I still cannot understand what happened back there in Zurich. I am hoping to find an answer and I know there is something to be learnt. Time will tell. For now, I am happy to be able to do the things I love to do and once again feel the sensation of sand rubbing against an abraded ankle =]