What am I doing here?

Reality hit me once I was up in the sky on my way to Johannesburg. Up until then, I had been so preoccupied with settling the various tasks for my new home that I hardly had any time to prepare for my trip. The kids were much more attuned to my leaving though. In the weeks leading up to my flight, Ansel has been deliberate in his attempts to spend more time with me. Noah, much more subtle in his approach, has also gone of his comfort zone to express his want for quality time. Earlier tonight, he hung around the living room past his bedtime so that he can be with me. When Olivia noticed it, she nudged me to speak with him. "I don't want papa to leave, I want to cry already." Hearing those words from my firstborn almost made me want to cry too, I just hugged and kissed him, mentioning that it will only be 2-months before we meet again in London.

Then, in mid-flight, a sense of fear gripped me. Why am I travelling to such a dangerous place for my trauma fellowship? I was almost paralysed with fear until sleep gripped me with its hold and I thought no longer. When I arrived, the list of things to do helped distract me: getting a SIM card, collecting my rental car, driving to my accommodation, settling in, video-calling home to speak with the boys, then driving to Chris Hani Baragwanath Academic Hospital to recce the place before starting work the next day, ending with lunch and grocery shopping before heading back to crash into an 11-hour sleep.

 

I guess the answer to my question will only be truly and fully revealed at the end of my sojourn here in Johannesburg. All I know is that God is with me, He will protect and guide me. Amen.

Noah's prayer for me in church

Sunday's recce to CHBAH

THE killer concept!

Today, I will finally exclaim it to the world (sorry Nic, you have to hear this again) that my phone is freaking killer! Whoosh..seriously man..it is more of a computer than a phone..I feel updated with the times..

It has always been my belief that a handphone is supposed to just be a handphone. It should have the call and SMS function and maybe the camera function will be a bonus add-on. Therefore, I have been faithfully using my Nokia 6300 while the people around me upgrade to touch-screen, huge phones. The slim and small 6300 has been my pride all these while.

It was until mum urged me to get a smart-phone to keep up with the times that I started looking around for a new handphone. The Nokia E71 (white) caught my eye and the rest is history.. =] I took about 2-3 days to understand its functions and how to use it..gosh! It has been an eye-opening experience to see how technology has advanced over the years..I am currently downloading maps into my phone for my Eurotrip after the Switzerland Ironman, got to get busy.. =]

Unexpected finds

Today, I spent the morning doing groceries with mummy..We went down to Giant at Tampines to get the food items. Giant is really really gargantuan and they sell almost everything! Nicolas's poker set was also bought from Giant! =] I made my way to the non-food items section and looked around. I came back with a $9.99 kickboard and a $5.95 Eeyore (shown below).

It was so darn cute that I decided to place it on my car's dashboard! Hahas.. We finished off the grocery shopping and went home for lunch. After chilling around for awhile, I made my way to school with Nicolas for our 14km pace run and swim training with the team..It is now time to rest =]

Remember why you are doing what you are doing...

I believe many has seen or heard about Team Hoyt before, I was one of them. Perhaps through the years and after getting too caught up with the things surrounding us, we tend to lose focus on why we are doing the things we love. The initial excitement of completing a race is replaced by competitiveness and results. The simple joys in life replaced by feelings of dejection having not met expectations.

Do take some time off to watch this incredible video and remind yourself the reason you are doing what you are doing. The triathlon is a celebration of human spirit and its limits...



I cried like a baby after watching this, and I hope it impacts you the way it did for me.

Love is not because, but no matter what. – Jodi Picoult

Aviva 70.3 Half Ironman 2009

Yesterday, I've completed my last race since the OCBC Cycle Singapore 5 weeks back; it was my 5th race in 5 weeks. My month of March has been really fruitful and very very memorable. I believe that obstacles are placed in our lives so that we have the chance to show the world how strong we are.

I dare say that the Aviva 70.3 Half Ironman yesterday was the best race I've completed thus far in life..

On Saturday, the TRI21 gang met up to deposit our bikes for our race the next day. Upon reaching there, I realised that I did not prepare any raincover for my bicycle! Thankfully there was the really-super-convenient 7-11 around, and I got myself 10 trash bags. I decided that I was going to go army style. I wrapped my bike up with around 6-7 trash bags as shown above. Joshua helped Nicolas cover up the rest of his bike with the remaining trash bags. It was really cool that Nicolas and I were side by side in the transition area =]

It indeed rained hours later..and I was glad I made the right decision. I went back to check the bikes of Jiajie, Jason, Jonathan Ma, Melvin, Joshua, Nicolas and myself after the rain as I had to attend the late briefing having missed the actual briefing the day before as I was celebrating mum's birthday. Everything was in place and everyone's water-proofing was effective.

Race day arrived and the amount of activity in the transition area was comparable to a market in the early morning. Nicolas and I started unwrapping our bikes and subsequently inflating our tires to the desired pressure. Next, I set up my equipment and we headed out to the start point.

The men's wave was flagged off at 7.25am, 15mins after the women's wave. I waited with anticipation for the start. Prior to race day, I made sure that I checked out the swim route so that I did not make the same mistakes like my race during Singapore Biathlon. I made a list of everything to bring and a rough plan for the things to do prior to the start. Having done all that, I was looking forward to a smooth race in the starting pen.

My target time for this race was 5hrs 45mins. Splits: Swim 45mins, Cycle 3hrs and Run 2hrs. I incorparated allowances in the timings so that should anything happen, I might still be able to hit it. =]

The starting horn went off and everyone made a dash for the sea. I found a nice line of approach to the floating buoy and stuck to it like a guided missile. I felt good during the swim and did not make any zig-zag movements this time.

Upon coming out of the water for the 1st lap, I felt really good; my Timex showed a 21mins. I was before time. =] Heading back into the water, I was determined to complete the swim below 45mins. However, I beared in mind that there was still the cycling and running leg, hence I was also prudent with my energy usage in the water.

I emerged from the sea after 43mins and was really delighted with my timing! It was a really good swim leg for me and I felt really good. It was evident as you can see in the picture above =]

I jogged to the transition area and was encouraged on the way by my family and some of the NUS Aquathlon members who came down to support us like Patricia aka Xiu Mei, Lemin and Qiurong. Yong Sheng and Desmond from TRI21 were also there to cheer us on, not forgetting coach David who was our official photographer and encourager =]

I quickly changed into my cycling cleats, put on my race belt and helmet and pushed my bike out of transition. I took it easy on the 1st 5mins to get my body adapted to the rhythm that was to carry through for the next 90km. I bit into a honey stick that Nicolas passed to me before the race and it burst at the other end, causing honey to squirt onto my arm and thighs. I laughed and managed to clear up the mess, not wasting a drop of honey. It tasted sweet and light. Nice snack for the start I thought. My plan was to up the pace in lap 2 and drop back abit in lap 3 to prepare myself for the run. I completed the 1st lap in 56mins.

After the U-turn at East Coast service road, I pushed up the tempo and went out for lap 2. It had been a really smooth race so far for me and it made me all the more determined to blitz the 2nd lap for the bike. After the U-turn at the other end at Keppel, I sped up again knowing that there was just 15km to go until the start of lap 3. This was where I started to get complacent and distracted.

2 lanes were sealed off for the cycle leg with 1 lane still open to traffic on the Keppel Viaduct. Huge rectangular orange and white plastic road blockers were placed between the cycle lanes and traffic lane. I saw a male cyclist veer into the traffic lane and there was a huge container truck behind him! Officials were behind him and I wanted to see what was going on..When I turned my head back to the road, I brushed pass the road blockers on my left and was sent flying into the air and subsequently crashing chin first onto the road.

The 1st thought that came into my mind was, "Norman, you are so retarded; why on earth are you not focusing on the darn race!" I was helped to my feet by the officials and escorted to the side of the road. I felt blood dripping from my elbow, knee and chin. I checked my bike to see if it was still race-worthy and it seemed OK. After wiping some blood off with a tissue paper, I rode off to rejoin the race. All this took place in about 3-4mins.

The pain caused by the wounds were like steriods to me. I was woken up by it to stop my nonsense and to focus. I maintained 35-40km/h on the way back to East Coast with blood dripping onto my bike and leg. After the U-turn going into my last lap, I saw Jonathan Ma at the side of the road fixing his punctured tire. I shouted out to him and he mumbled for a spare tire. By then, I was already pretty far off and I wondered whether or not should I stop to pass him my spare. I stopped. After that, I was away again into the race. Before the Keppel U-turn, I saw Jason and Nicolas, by then I was pretty tired and was taking it easier on the last 15km. As I entered East Coast service road for the 3rd time, I saw Nicolas and shouted to him. "Bros, let's run together!"

We ended the bike leg together and entered transition to put on our running shoes. I completed the bike leg in 2hrs 55mins. I was quite glad that I was still within target. =]

All that was left is 21km of run. I wondered how I was going to complete it alone. Now that we were running together, I was quite looking forward to it knowing that we will pull each other through.

Our starting pace was pretty fast, going at 5mins/km. If we maintained that pace, the run will be over in 1hr 45mins. That was 15mins faster than my target time of 2hrs! =] We decided to go until we felt tired then slow down for 1km and slowly pick up pace again. One thing was that was definite was that we were going to cross the finish line together..

At the 1st aid station, we asked for deep heat and I applied it onto my super sore quadriceps. The run was accompanied by the frequent "how are you feeling?", "is this too fast?" and "let's take it easier until the end of the bridge". Nicolas was the one doing most of the encouraging as I occasionally injected some thoughts and words.

We were encouraged by our family and friends at the transition area and was always looking forward to running pass them knowing that somehow they could impart some strength to us. We were determined not to let them down. My gaping wound has started to clot, but the blood on the chin has drew quite a lot of attention.

Concerned spectators were frequently asking if I was OK and fellow racers showed their concerns too. The atmosphere was really charged up. Before we knew it, we had only 4km to the finish line! At the 19km mark, my left hamstring and calf muscles threatened to cramp whenever I wanted to push abit faster. We slowed down but no walking, as agreed prior to the run. As the finishing point was in sight at the last 1km, I upped the pace a little and the cramping sensations were gone, we crossed the finishing point hand in hand with our run time at 2hrs.

As Joshua puts it, this was the best photo taken by coach David. I was really thankful that Nicolas was there with me during the run because I know that I could not have done this alone. He shares the same sentiments too. During the run, he brought up something which I always marvelled at; that we were from the same Primary, Secondary, Junior College and Tertiary institute. We have known each other all our lives, and this was really something to cherish.

This was why the Aviva 70.3 Half Iroman yesterday was the best race I have completed in my life so far. "Happiness only real when shared." - Christopher McCandless

After the race, I immediately went home to bathe and headed out to SGH for stitching work to be done on my chin. Well, at least I will have this scar for life to serve as a memory for the race yesterday where I completed it with my brother. My total time was 5hrs 45mins... =]

Christmas and the weekend..

Christmas has finally arrived this year, and it marks yet again another year passed..On boxing day, my cousin Huiqi got married. It was the third wedding in my family this year! Counting down chronologically, the next in line should be me! Boy, doesn't time pass so quickly..

The wedding yet again allowed the extended family to interact and catch up with one another. It was good to see Zhen Yi back from the UK during his school break. We had a good time that night, fooling around like we always do =]

The next day, on Saturday, I had my NUS aquathlon time-trial at Sentosa. To be perfectly honest, I was not ready AT ALL for this time-trial. I just returned from Cambodia and since pre-CA2, I have not been training that regularly for weeks, even months! Furthermore, I was down with flu and sore-throat after my trip. Adding salt to the wound, that Saturday morning, I had diarrhoea. I did not want to go through the time-trial, but upon seeing everyone in the team gearing up for it, I changed my mind. I decided to try and complete it. Just complete it.

This was yet another instance where my body decided to act in contrary with my mind. I managed to complete my time-trial in 1hr 15mins 24secs. It was not exactly a very good timing, and there is still a lot to improve from here. =] I am just glad that I managed to complete it.

Later that day, I attended my NUS cell group's year end party where we invited friends over to have a time of fun, fellowship and food. It was a huge success! There were a total of 56 friends brought and I believed that they all had their share of fun, felllowship and food. =] I hope that we ride on this success and continue to reach out.

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” - Matthew 9:37-38

I understand it now...

I think I finally understood the reasons behind all the problems that I have been facing these past few months... I know it is always so easy to put the blame on the bloody devil, that all things bad must come from him. However, we cannot neglect the fact that we entertained his ideas, his promptings, his temptations... We are also to blame for our own circumstances.

So yes, after all that is said above, I'm still going to say that the devil is to be blamed. I really thank God for my strong and capable mother who is always there to help me no matter what. She shed light on my current situation.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." - John 10:10

This was what she said, and everything fell into perspective. The devil does what he does best, to destroy things that took time to establish, to steal our time away from God and to kill our spiritual being. God on the other hand always seeks to love and to build.

"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you." - Luke 6:27-28

God goes as far as to say that we should love our enemies, it is a command. Therefore, if we are to love our enemies, what more our close loved ones in relationships which have been forged and established?

I think I am closer to where I truly belong.

The past 3 days..

I have no idea but suddenly, weird thoughts start popping into my mind and I'm feeling really confused and down for the past 3 days.. The only time I feel alive is when I train with my team mates from aquathlon. That is the ONLY time I feel alive. We did 5 x (200m swim, 1km run) transition training today. It sounds easy yah, but trust me, you need a lot of determination to finish the sets! =] It was really a very fun session today. However, the moment it ended, I was thrown back into reality, facing my problems again. Damn.

Thankfully, I sought help from mum (we had dinner together). I told her all my problems and her advices were pretty much relevant. I will stick to it now and see how things go from here. I hope I feel better, I really do.

On a side note, after training today, I realised that my left big toe is ready to be 'harvested'! It has been badly injured due to soccer and I have just been waiting for it to fall off. Today, I took things into my own hands! =] Maybe this can be something to be happy about...

What a beautiful time together!

Heys! Happy Lunar New Year! Gong Xi Fa Cai! Wan Shi Ru Yi! Xing Xiang Shi Cheng! Hoorays! Today it was a joyous occasion for the family, for ALL of us met up and had dinner at my Big Aunt's place. Dinner was seriously secondary, but fellowship was invaluable and of utmost importance!

Lunar New Year visiting, as I once thought, is boring. However, as we get busier and busier during the other times of the year to even meet up for a simple meal, the tradition of visiting has enabled the extended family to come together at least once a year to catch up and reminisce of the good old times.

It was really nice meeting up with my cousins tonight, and boy wasn't it a killer fun time! We played block catching! Fancy all of us above the age of 14 doing such a thing. =] It is really nice once in a while to just let down your hair and let the fun overwhelm your senses and just enjoy the little time that you have with those people you hold dear to..I'm really glad that people still observe such a tradition nowadays during Lunar New Year!

Have fun with your remaining visitings! May God continue to bless us with good weather, and His blood of protection be upon us whilst we travel from place to place. Take care and watch that stomach! =]

After 38 weeks..

This was what most of us were looking forward to at the start of our officer training course..I too was one of them. However, life after commissioning is not a bed of roses..I believe I have said this before, so I shall not elaborate.

The parade's preparation was extensive! Rehearsals too were uber tiring..I personally felt that the parade need not be that extravagant, but that day, I was swayed a little to the other camp..

This was the most touching moment of the entire parade..The affixing of the officer rank insignia onto the newly commissioned officers by their loved ones..You could see how happy Mum and Sis were yah..hahas..=] In my journey to officership they were there to motivate me in my darkest hour, helping me to pull through the tough times..Thank you both so much, love you two loads!!

Not to forget, my cell also came to support! =] I was really glad to see them la..Without their constant prayer and support, I would not have been so blessed by God! Love you all too..=]

Hahas, after commissioning, I was on course straight away! There was no time to even clear our leave..The first course has ended, and I am attending the next one tomorrow. Thankfully we had our commissioning ball in between the two courses to help us relax a little! =] Anyways, the ball was like a mini-VJC gathering for us Victorians..There were loads of Victorians around! Miss VJ to the max lah, can't help it..The picture above was an all-Victorians photo..=x there were more people then these lah, just that I didn't manage to get them all together for the photo shoot..hahas..

So yupz, my life as an officer has begun, and I look forward to it with much anticipation and anxiety..Well, God will pave the way..peace out people.