Friday, May 13, 2011

Unexpected...

Riding to the hospital is becoming more and more of a routine for me nowadays. However, this morning was something different. I came across a road block on the route I usually travel on. It was a no go. I then asked the officer which way I could take to get to the hospital, he mumbled something in a language I did not understand (thankfully he gestured too). I figured that there must be a detour from the other side and hence decided to explore a new route to get to CMC from Modale. I turned my bicycle around and rode off in the opposite direction, praying hard that I will eventually arrive at CMC somehow.

The new route has less traffic and the road was smoother. It was like a small winding lane where stallholders are busy setting up their businesses flanking the lane. I rode until I saw something familiar then took a turn unto the main road. I had successfully detoured the road block after about 10-15mins of ‘gut instinct’ navigation. It was a wonderful experience having learnt a new route.

I joined my team at the wards where we completed rounds and proceeded to the clinics. All I wanted to do today was to leave after the morning clinics as I wanted to rest before travelling to Chennai later in the day. Somehow, whenever you wish for time to pass faster it slows down; whenever you wish for time to slow down it passes faster. Time seems to be our eternal enemy…

I thank God that I stayed until the end of morning clinics for I had on several occasion felt like leaving halfway. I left today a humbled person for the patients that came in taught me so much and impacted me in so many ways…

The first case was this man who has bladder exstrophy. Prior to today, I have never heard of such a condition before! Apparently, it is quite rare. There is reading up to do tonight…

The next case was this 12 year-old boy suffering from end-stage renal failure awaiting renal transplant. He looked jaded and frail in his dirty clothes, but his eyes and actions told a different story. He was a fighter. He is fighting to live. I later learnt that Dr Ravi has put that boy’s medication on the department’s tab because he is too poor to afford medication. At that moment, it occurred to me that this boy could very well have been fighting all his life – he has got the survival instinct.

I have always felt that modern human beings have lost the edge. We have lost our animal instincts; the most basic primordial instinct needed for survival. Throw a businessman into the middle of a jungle and I bet you he will not survive. We have been too accustomed to the comforts of life – air conditioners, computers, television, mobile phones, cars and the list goes on. Without these inventions, I firmly believe that many of us find it hard to ‘survive’. However, think about it, are all these necessary for survival? I like what Tyler Durden says about such things in Fight Club,

“The things you own end up owning you.”

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

Human beings are being caught in this viscous cycle of consumerism. We are always on the prowl for the latest, the best. We feel that owning such things define who we are, but do they? Society defines a man to be beautiful when he has status, possessions, and achievements. Now, strip him of all his statuses, possessions, and achievements, is he still beautiful? Does his nakedness, his core still reflect that beauty? Many times the answer is a resounding no, because more often than not we focus too much on the outer man. We heap tons and tons of resources building thick walls on the outside and neglect fortifying the inside. At the end of the day, everyone is just an actor involved in a play called life; everyone is living a double life; everyone has a façade. Are we truly living then?

The next patient who came in presented with a recurrence of his Hodgkin’s lymphoma. When his mother was told the news, she fought hard to hold back her tears, appearing strong for her son who seems to have given up the fight. He appeared nonchalant.

How many of us fail to give thanks for the greatest gift of all every day? The gift of life. We let ourselves be caught up in the rat race, often pushing our bodies beyond what they were created for. Even robots and machines need rest! I find myself to have also at times taken this gift for granted. It is time to cherish what is important and see things with an eternal perspective.

Lastly, there was this 14 year-old boy with a new presentation of a left scrotal mass that has been there for 10 years. I was told to examine him, and I carried out the inguinal hernia CEX. I have never successfully reduced and occluded the deep ring preventing the hernia from re-forming. Today, it worked like what was described in the textbooks! When I removed my finger and told him to cough, the hernia re-emerged confirming my diagnosis of an indirect hernia probably secondary to a patent processus vaginalis. He was listed for a herniotomy =]

Learning here in CMC is a new adventure every day for me. Like a child receiving a Kinder Surprise egg, I find myself not knowing what I will get in a day at the hospital, and I like that feeling…

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